The Journey 596

Category: losing

  • I’M AWARE !

    Pacing back and forth, thinking about myself and why am I the one who must tolerate their actions, afraid to lose them even though they have already lost me. Tracing my steps back to the point where it has started and what I saw is something that I cannot forgive myself for.

     

    As my soul started to fade, my true self no longer exists, I have exorcised my soul, as they manipulated me with their voices. Aware of what is happening but I chose to ignore the fact that I was being used by them cruel creatures. Thanks to all those whom I have trusted by decided to betray, thanks to those whom I loved but decided to take my soul for granted, thank you for the pain.

     

    Nervous as I mark their names on the graves that I have placed in the darkness, and so it has been decided that I no longer can deal with your cruelty. I guided them to their graves with tears from the pain that they manifested in my heart. Farewell, I am never coming back, you all have been pulling me down, confusing me and above all you have ruined my path; therefore, I am moving on.

     

    I am aware of your spells and tricks, but I chose to ignore your misdeeds for something that you creatures will never understand.

     

    “There Is Still Hope”

     

  • Love, Webs and Spells

    Here is a story about a girl that he loved so much that she was the only thing that he feared the most; feared losing her. He never knew that this girl that he loved would one day make him fall apart, a weakness that he never thought of having. 

    Even though it was a bumpy road, confusing as her demands were questionable but even so he continued to follow her. Am afraid that he really fell for her, and never realised that he entrusted her with a valuable thing that is so powerful; however, if it was to be crushed it will poison his soul thereby disturbing his journey. As her spell clung to his heart, he no longer can control his emotions, as she is now in control of all. Pure hearted, he never thought that there will come a time where the one that he loved would destroy him. 

    Friends, even though she knew how much he cared for her, yet he accepted the offer, for he is under her spell and he did not want to lose her. Suddenly she became so cruel that her honest opinion started to sound more like criticising and teasing. Done with this so called love, and ripped her webs from his heart, leaving his heart pierced, bleeding and taking shelter to recover from the pain and to reform from what he has caused to his soul. 

    Characterising love as a reaper that tortures you before slipping away your soul, a sociopath that needs to be locked away, for it is the core of cruelty.

    “There Is Still Hope”

  • Oh Mind, Can You Please Rest !

    When the sunsets and the night crawl in, it is a phenomenal experience to those who have a mind that never rests. To some, it is the time to rest and relax, while for the few of us out there who cannot control the flow of their thoughts it means that the wicked yet magnificent process is about to start.

     

    Closing our eyes trying to rest, but the thoughts keep us hanging, getting tired with every second that passes, while our brain fights the thoughts. Weary head unable to rest, thinking and planning, claiming that there is no time to waste, for the goal to be achieved a plan is required. A goal that we must change our plan frequently based on the fact that it reveals before us. Here we are deep inside our heads trying to figure out our next move, failing a couple of times but never quitting. Once again, we have tried to rest but it is all the same, without an answer we cannot possibly rest.

     

    As the night slowly gets darker, the journal has been taken out from its resting place, looking for clues and to assure that everything will be okay. Flipping through the page as we remember the purpose of it all. Eyes fighting to get some sleep, while we resist for the purpose must be fulfilled, the purpose that we have battled the obstacles in order to find it, we cannot simply let go. Therefore, with the journal in our hands the final goal can be reached, a few more obstacle, nothing that we have not battled before or at least until we reach the next step. Closing our eyes once again, as the thoughts start to arise, and the mind to over think the situations; a sound from the heart whispering “To the thoughts that you all have gained from this journey, be gone; for the answers are all within their souls”. An assuring sound that brought peace of mind to our souls, gaining from it the ability to rest our weary heads.

     

    “There Is Still Hope”

  • It Is My Fault !

    When the night crawls in and the memories rise upon those whom have lost in the battle, the pain has begun. Moving on is not an option until they have fully understand what has casued these events to escalate into a whirlpool in which they are trying to escape.
    The pure souls have been slashed with darkness, for their hearts could not understand the deeds of those whom they loved. They have been caught in the cycle of misdeeds upon which they must reform. As they continue to roam the earth with sadness and with the seven deadly sins as their only solution, their darkness consumes not their souls but those who they care about.
    Past, present, and future does not matter if moving on and letting go cannot be achieved; stuck in this cycle with their darkness, poisoned and unable to move on nor can I let go.
    I am drowning, is it my fault that they have been consumed with sadness, or is it my fault that I take everything upon myself. Restless mind constantly thinking about anything and everything around me, a pain I must live with in order to find the purpose of life.

  • The Masquerade

    In a world of lies, hiding behind the masks of our choice, who am I ? A masquerade that tempted me to try a mask, and I chose to hold on to it, for I felt as though everyone around me has changed to the worst, deceiving and manipulating their way through life; therefor, I took the mask wherever I went, wore it on any occasion to help me understand its mystery.

    Behind every mask there is a story in which some us are trying to run away from, you become addicted to wearing the mask for it is the only way that makes you safe from the past. If you want to take someone’s mask of, you must have the power to reach into you heart and soul, for only the righteous and the weak are capable of such thing. It was difficult to wear the mask while trying to maintain your true self, not only that but it will also be vulnerable to those who have nothing but evil in their hearts.

    Who am I ? As I take off my mask and walk away from everyone to find my comfort on earth away from the lies. Who am I ? As I leave behind the stories of pain, the stories upon which one has lost everything even their soul.

     

  • Spells And Hope

    T.W.O.T.E

    “I have written this short article when they were about to put me under their spell; however, I have managed to break the spell  and escape from their cruelty with the my only strength, hope.”

    They have criticized me, making me look like a coward, but I am not feeling sad nor have I ever hated anyone, it is just that I lost hope in the cruel creatures, they have disappointed me many times.

     

    They say that I am rude, just for giving my opinion, but I will not give up until I prove my point, which you will find out in the near future.

     

     

    My life is mine to choose what path I shall take, I do not require your approval or anyone else’s for that matter, stay away from me.

     

     

     

     

     

  • Chaos In My Head

    T.W.O.T.E

    October 26th 
    I no longer can tolerate what is going on inside my head, it is crowded, I am screaming inside my head as every thought I had is being processed all at once by my weary brain.

    I can change feelings in an instant, as every feeling is waiting for the right moment to be unleashed, or rather triggered by something/someone, although it may sound like chaos; however it saved me countless of times from being pushed around and being someone whom I am not.

    Surprised  by the fact that I am not the only one who is trying to stay away from the humans; they are also trying to stay away from me. Going back through the books that were written, trying to understand the reason that lead them to distance themselves from me, sadly this does not upset me at all, as this will make me happier than ever: staying away from them cruel creatures. 

  • A Life Of Misery (TWOTE)

    This is a different post, a post build upon my true feelings and pain, I can no longer look at myself, without feeling disgusted, because when I succumbed to the darkness, I have made a promise that I shall never ever show my true colours to anyone, deceiving everyone around me with a fake smile upon my face, and constantly saying I am okay.

    Since the day of moving in to my new environment (the darkness), I couldn’t feel anything but pain, convinced that it is the only way to survive upon this earth. At first I loved how I was so dark and secretive, and the only thing that they know about me is a name, that they must have forgotten since I disappeared. Looking at each one of them, with great anger, a stream of black rays revolving around my soul, trying to take over my body, I didn’t hesitate to leave the earth, for I have thought that it is the end that I have waited for. Thrown on the ground by a guy with red aura shining so bright that for a second I thought that it is emitting heat, lectured and tortured by him, and finally it combined with my soul.

    Everyday is the same filled with sadness and depression, wandering around the country with a huge smile on my face, everyone kept their distance from me, as they thought that I was crazy and dangerous, laughing at the children when I see one, “never grow up” I shouted with a shivering voice. Deceived many with my act,  as it was the plan from the start,  trying to understand the humans and the world. Sometimes I feel as though everyone around me is a threat,and that I must leave A.S.A.P. After years of trying to make it out of the darkness, and come out to the world, and have a second chance with humans, I was disappointed as it lead me back deeper into the darkness, at that moment I have made my decision which was to stay away from the humans, chasing dreams and living my life away from the humans.

    “There Is Still Hope”

  • The Chronicles Of TWOTE

    -DEMONS AND HUMANS: Even though they are two different creatures, yet sometimes they share the same characteristics.

    *****

    Lost on this earth, unable to keep the promise, distracted by those who tend to play and destroy on earth. In a delusion, I have been stuck, caught by the chains of the devil, and tortured by witnessing the misconduct of humans on earth. Ever since I reached the certain age where I could understand what is going on around me, the wrong crowd tend to find themselves around me. I did not say a word to them other than greeting them. After that, I was quite as if I am not there at all, soon they could not see me; distracted by their deeds of immoral nature. I was watching them studying their nature.

     

    At first, I found it to be amusing to watch them cause trouble and behave like animals but then I came to realize that they have taken their misconduct to a far new level. Witnessing what the humans have done while I was with them, watching. It haunted me for years feeling guilty for what they have caused on this earth, finally I have decided to lock myself, and I have ordered the chains to restrain me from the world. It was the only way to end the sequence of their misconduct, as I assumed that it was my fault that they have awakened their immoral behaviour; however, in different parts of the earth, the humans were still causing trouble, destroying everything in their way.

     

    I hasten to assume that it was my fault, hence why I declared  myself to be the devil, for what I did was unforgivable, I can never forgive myself for what I did; I never tried to stop them but instead I watched them until they became pure evil. Therefore, I took it upon myself to gain knowledge and discover what lies hidden in this universe. I wandered the earth discovering and experiencing new things, hoping that one day I will understand life.

     

    “There Is Still Hope”

     

  • The Pit

    Here I am once again distracted from the final goal, events that forces me to postpone my dreams and life. Forced to leave my self, my true identity and soul in order to please them creatures.

    We live in a world of sadness, living by the principles of a herd, following instead of creating our own path. Damned by the traditions that filled our heads with negativity and extracted our own creativity and dreams, leaving us confused and lost in this universe.

    Planning to get out of this pit, climbing the walls and every obstacle that is in my way, hoping to be free again, chasing my dreams and walking on my path.

    “THERE IS STILL HOPE”